Two Cheeky Chambermaids
by CarysPendragon
Summary: A collection of short stories featuring Elira and Findabhair, two of Camelot's most mischievous maids, and the trouble they get into along with Merlin and the gang.


**So, this is going to be a series of stories about two chambermaids in Camelot. No, they aren't actually in Merlin, but they have a whole lot of fun with him and his friends.**

**Findabhair is pronounced 'Finaveer' and I'm sure you can figure out how to say Elira.**

**I don't own Merlin, but enjoy my little adventures anyway.**

* * *

_Two Cheeky Chambermaids, Lying on the Floor_

"We're going to get caught." Elira laughed, quickly stifling the noise with her hand. Findabhair shushed her, hiding a grin of her own.

"We are not! Here, give me the hook."

The two girls were lying on their stomachs in a deserted corridor of the castle. They'd discovered this grate weeks ago, the one that showed the kitchens only a floor below. Findabhair had joked about how if they were sorcerers, they could probably magic a few rolls up and out of it before Cook noticed. After Elira had a brief moment of panic and checked to make sure nobody had heard them, she'd smiled and agreed.

"Though," She had said. "I bet we could do it with a bit of thin rope and a hook."

So here they were. Escaping their duties for a while (though nobody would miss them with the castle in this busy state) as their red aprons protected most of their plain dresses from the dusty floor.

Findabhair managed to lower the hook halfway before stopping suddenly, a scared look on her face. "Uh oh."

"What do you mean 'uh oh'?" Elira hissed.

"The rope. It's caught around a shirt."

It was a well-known fact that the steel rod that hung from the kitchen ceiling was not only good for holding pots and pans, but also a fantastic place to dry clothes. It wasn't unusual to see a few pairs of breeches or a couple tunics resting over the bar, whether they belonged to the royal members of the castle or its workers. Though the latter usually had to bribe Cook for the prime spot and that was never easy.

"I changed my mind." Findabhair groaned. "This was a horrible idea."

* * *

Merlin had never been so busy in his life. Or, at least, it felt that way. He'd been running around all day, preparing for the feast, preparing things for Arthur, attending to Arthur, attending to feast-ly things, and mucking out the stables because Arthur was a prat.

He squeezed his way into the kitchen, avoiding being brained by several platters and congratulating himself by stealing a roll off a passing girl. Naturally, Cook was on him in seconds.

"What are you doing here, boy?" She said in her usual gruff tone. Merlin hastily hid the roll behind his back.

"Uh, the prince's shirt!" He said, hurrying past her.

"You just keep your dirty fingers off my food!"

Merlin heaved a sigh of relief, quickly finding Arthur's stupid white shirt and pulling it down. It took a harder tug than expected, and he soon found out why. Hidden behind the shirt was a slightly nasty looking hook hanging from a rope. Merlin looked up with a grin to find two of his favourite chambermaids peering down at him.

The slender one with the shorter flaxen hair was Findabhair – Finni, for short - , while Elira had the longer brown curls and fair skin. They were only four or five years younger than Merlin himself and he had come to know them well. They were known for their mischief in the castle. Last he'd heard, the two had been banned from attending the feast due to their habit of making faces behind the drunken nobility. They were only lucky Uther excused himself early when extra wine was brought out, and that one of the older maids would usually usher them out quickly. Though Arthur had seen them multiple times and thought they were a great amusement.

Both of them were putting fingers over their lips, making exaggerated movements he didn't even try to understand. He merely sent them a grin and pulled their little invention down, hooking it into one of roast chickens Cook had laid there.

Merlin tugged quickly on the rope before stepping back, mouthing at them to hurry up. Sending them one last smile, he ducked back out of the kitchen.

He let out a full blown laugh, however, when he heard Cook's angry outburst and only hoped the girls had pulled the chicken up fast enough to make a break for it.

_Maybe I'll tell Arthur later, he'll probably congratulate them._ Merlin thought, rolling his eyes. He was brought back to reality, however, when a page spilled red wine all over the clean white shirt.

* * *

The girls laughed as they ran through the castle, attempting to unhook their prize as they went. They'd only just lifted the chicken out when Cook's voice rang out and they'd bolted straight away. Hopefully she'd assume it was one of the knights or a squire. Findabhair and Elira had learnt long ago that you didn't anger Cook if you wanted food that night. Now they made sure their plans at least didn't let the kitchen witch see their faces.

They finally came to rest under a tree close to the castle wall. Finni threw the hook to one side as Elira collapsed onto the ground.

"We owe Merlin big time." She said breathlessly. Finni grinned, sliding down the bark to sit beside her friend.

"We'll leave him a wing."

Elira nodded, untying the green cloth that kept most of her hair out of her face. She took the wing Finni offered and wrapped it up, placing it to the side. They both knew Merlin would recognize it (the dress Elira always wore was the same dark green colour) and, after a wash, would return it as soon as he could. This wasn't the first time they had sneaked food from the kitchens with the manservant's help.

They ate half the chicken, binding the rest up in Finni's head scarf (hers was a light blue and also easily recognized) as they talked mindlessly.

"I think I shall marry a knight." The blonde girl said out of the blue. Elira laughed, tossing a small pebble at her.

"Knights only marry noble girls, my lady." She teased.

"Not all the knights are of noble birth." Finni said, sending her friend a smirk. "I know for a fact that Sir Lancelot, Elyan, Percival and Gwaine aren't."

Elira shook her head. "Sir Gwaine is. I heard him and Merlin whispering about it a while ago. Not that he acknowledges it. And Sir Lancelot is sweet on Gwen."

The two laughed. "And may he win her heart!" Finni said cheerfully as they toasted with chicken breasts instead of mugs.

"Speaking of knights…" Elira grinned slyly. "They're doing drills now. Up for a bit of ogling?"

Finni got to her feet, brushing off her dress and adjusting her apron. "You know I am. Do you feel like going the feast later?"

Elira followed suite, passing Finni their bundles of chicken as she got to her feet. "Maybe. How long do you think it will take until we get kicked out?"

"Long enough to get a laugh out of Arthur, I'll bet." Finni winked, making her friend giggle. She passed Elira her head scarf containing Merlin's bit of their feast as they set off back towards the castle. "Let's drop this off with Gaius before heading down to the field."

That night, they managed to attend the feast for a grand total of fifteen minutes before Gwen shuffled them out, leaving behind a chuckling Merlin, Gwaine, Morgana, and, of course, Arthur.


End file.
